ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
The power of my boobs compel you
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
