bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
