Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
