I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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