I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
