tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
