butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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