currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
