so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
