he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
