I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
NoShamevember. You game?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
