you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
