i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
