i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
