i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
