Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Can I color on your dick again?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
