North Korea, Best Korea!
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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