jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
