Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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