so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
