im about as happy as oj after his trial
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
