he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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