I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
