My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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