Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
