Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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