so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
