...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
