I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
