I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
