His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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