butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
