OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I can't turn off my feet"
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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