thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
If that was your dad, he is hot
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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