Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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