think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
