I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Randomize
