pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize