the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I love you. Go after that dick
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
