Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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