how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
