Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
