You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He felt like a one man threesome
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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