i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
