I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
