My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
