kristin has been a bad kristin
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
