Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
