so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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