you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
