I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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