direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
