Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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