Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
