Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
why does every cop we meet know your name?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
