I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
