I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I'm passing your future prison.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
