her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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