just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
