We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
do herpes really smell.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
