Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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